The current state of our existence is being threatened. In every direction there is quarrel and hypocrisy. The veils are being lifted and each one of us is becoming more aware of where we are truly situated, our triggers, our limitations. How can we face the the ugly parts of human behavior such as racism, hate, violence and meanness, while remaining heat centered? How can we embrace others in direct opposition to our core values or those who attack us for our own beliefs? How do we navigate our own feelings of anger, disgust, and hopelessness while attempting to remain true to our own ideals? Ignoring our own feelings to serve a higher purpose may cultivate patterns of spiritual bypassing and actually create unresolved issues within, making our contributions shallow and weak. The story of Arjuna and Krsna on the battlefield in the Bhagavad-gita addresses this very thing. In the Bhagavad-gita, Arjuna is not only a warrior, he is a deeply spiritual and loving man. His character and heart are exemplary. On the battlefield. in opposition, are some of his family members, friends, teachers and respected elders. Arjuna is perplexed and loses heart. How can he do his duty as a protector, as a warrior while maintaining his own set of spiritual values? After a lengthy conversation, Krsna helps Arjuna see what is what. What is the nature of the soul, what is attachment, what is karma, what is temporary, why are we here. In the end Arjuna gains awareness and is able to maintain his prescribed duty while maintaining a loving and devoted heart. For me, having an open heart does not preclude us from having and expressing feelings. It is quite possible to be super angry and at the same time open hearted. As a parent, we easily see how this is possible as we raise our children. Our child may be guilty of doing something really terrible, and at the same time we remain as their well wisher. If we extend this model into other relationships, it might be possible to apply a similar approach. Sometimes we are required to set boundaries, to allow natural consequence, to resist and redirect, or to take space. We can still love and internally support them, while actively speaking against a particular action. This is easier said than done for sure!! But, with practice and conviction it can happen little by little.
FB dynamics- I say something, you counter, we argue and now there is a rift in our relationship. Why is this happening so much? Assumption and judgement. To really know what the writer is speaking about requires investigation. it requires knowledge of their intention. Often we see these brief one liners, it triggers something inside us and we want to respond, we want our opinion to be heard. Iv’e written a few things with a particular intention in mind and have been challenged by others who have completely missed the point I was expressing. We end up going back and forth over semantics. Additionally, there seems to be a lot of social pressure on what’s politically correct to say or do. One approach I am working on is something my partner Sarah mentioned, to simply hold more space. Rather than argue and articulate each subtle point of contention, simply allow the author to vent. Let them spew their anger and volatile expressions. Ekchart Tolle would sometimes use this method if someone was arguing with him. He would simply be present without attachment to any particular outcome and hold space for the person. Eventually, their momentum would naturally die down. With no resistance there would be nothing left to argue about.